Are You In Danger?

The following is a list of common things a batterer can do to their victim. An easy way to assess the danger in your relationship is to go through the following list, answering each question with a yes or no.

1. Has your abuser done any of the following:

• Punched you
• Slapped you
• Kicked you
• Bitten you
• Pulled your hair

2. If you are married, did any of these things happen before you were married?

3. Does your abuser use alcohol or drugs excessively?

4. Does your abuser have intense mood swings?

5. Does your abuser stalk you?

6. Follow you?

7. Try to isolate you from others?

8. Try to dominate you?

9. Show up at your work unexpected?

10. Threatens suicide?

11. Obsessed with weapons?

12. Threatened you with a weapon?

13. Threatened you by phone or mail?

14. Threatened to kill you, or someone you love?

15. Tried to hurt you when you were pregnant?

16. Sexually assaulted you?

17. Kidnapped you or held you hostage?

18. Previous violent relationships?

19. Criminal record?

20. Criminal record related to violence, or sexual offenses?

21. Had a restraining order filed against him/her?

22. Violated the restraining order?

23. Intimidate or threaten you in order to control you?

24. Accuse you of being unfaithful?

25. Broken into your home?

26. Cut phone/power lines connected to your home?

27. Does your abuser have a difficult time when you are not with him/her?

28. Have frequent outbursts?

29. Tries to excuse the beatings?

30. Have the police ever been contacted?

Generally, the more questions you answer with a "yes" the more dangerous your relationship is. Please do not use this list as a replacement for seeking help. Any abusive relationship, regardless of its severity, should be taken seriously.